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Archive for October, 2007

Happy Halloween!; or, Who Wore It Best?

Posted in Amy Winehouse, Charlie Chaplin, Halloween, Humor, Life, Nicole Richie, Perez Hilton on October 29, 2007 | 1 Comment »

John or Charlie?

Sarah or Nicole?

Jeffery or Perez?

Becca or Amy?

Courtney or Mary Kate?

Michelle or Holly?

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You Win(g) Some, You Lose Some

Posted in Atomic Wings, Hot Off, Humor, Life, Patrick Dempsey, Uncategorized on October 26, 2007 | 5 Comments »

Last Thursday, I had a “hot-off” with some friends at Atomic Wings. Consider it a sequel to this.
We lined up the wings in ascending hot order, from abusive to suicidal:

Game face:

Good will clank:

That wing was named nuclear for a reason.

Bold competitor Carmelo licked his plate clean of suicidal sauce…

while Megan licked…

…Patrick Dempsey?

Oh McDreamy, you’re so [...]

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Spitting Image

Posted in Amy Tan, Cormac McCarthy, Dante's Peak, Deborah Kerr, Grimace, Meghan O'Rourke, Stars, The Silence of the Lambs, praying mantis on October 18, 2007 | 3 Comments »

Jeffery and I rate our day. He’ll G-chat me and ask “How many stars?” and I’ll give an answer anywhere from 0-4. Then he’ll follow-up with “What movie do you give that many stars?” A two-star day, which is pretty much day-default, is like Dante’s Peak: average yet stress inducing, a film whose voice-over [...]

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Meat the Parents

Posted in Beanee Weenee, Humor, Life, Spam, Vienna Sausages on October 14, 2007 | 1 Comment »

I know I’m back home in N.C. when the pantry looks like this:

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Older

Posted in 1977, Parents, Star Wars, Ultrasonic Hearing, Uncategorized on October 12, 2007 | 6 Comments »

These are my parents in June of 1977:

Star Wars was the highest grossing movie at the box office. The first Apple II computers had just gone on sale. Punk was poised to explode (The Clash, Iggy Pop) although I highly doubt my parents were thinking about leather jackets and asymmetric hair. They also weren’t [...]

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Pure, eh?

Posted in Beach Body Bootcamp, Deceptively Delicious, Jessica Seinfeld, Oprah, puree on October 9, 2007 | 12 Comments »

As a personal assistant, I frequently work from my couch. I’ve joined the ranks of envelope stuffers and stay-at-home moms across the nation, meaning I know that Wednesday is psychic Sylvia Brown day on The Montel Williams Show, and that Dr. Phil really does “tell it like it is” because it is usually obvious.
I’m [...]

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My Mind’s Not Right

Posted in Humor, Life, Lowell, Skunk Hour on October 7, 2007 | 2 Comments »

When life imitates art.

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Coyote Ugly

Posted in Assassins, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Coyote Communication, Fiction Writer, Humor, Life, My Poet, Uncategorized on October 4, 2007 | 5 Comments »

Last week marked my five year anniversary of moving to New York City. Since then, I’ve become more assertive. For example, if someone cuts me off at the Gourmet Garage olive bar, or tries to skimp on paying my bladder infection Emergency Room bill even though he dropped the ball on my company [...]

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