TryBecca

Entries categorized as ‘Books’

Camped Out

June 28, 2007 · 2 Comments

This past weekend I went to camp. I hadn’t been to camp since the summer before sixth grade. I was eleven. I remember Benny Mardones’ “Into the Night” getting a lot of radio play in the Seafarer cabins:

“She’s just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they say
Separated by fools
Who don’t know what love is yet”

Not exactly the song you want older male Sunfish instructors humming as they teach preteen girls to tie the aft end of the halyard to the upper boom, is it?

I rode to camp with Boss, Ashley, and Epee Le Peu. Epee Le Peu is the man (a former fencer) I am currently seeing and employing. This sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Maybe. But just yesterday, Boss threw a NYC condom on my desk as a joke—so I’m thinking that as long as everyone here is blurring the lines of professionalism no one is culpable. If our office ethics were a painting, that painting might look like this:

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I picked this muzzy internet art in particular because it bears some resemblance to my hair in high wind:

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Boss car was broken into a few weeks back, and, as you can tell from this photo (thank you Epee), has yet to be fixed. Unless you count as “fixed” fashioning a window out of a box. Aside from giving me the plumage of an angry bird, the incoming air made it virtually impossible to sing along to Prince and Journey in anything like real time. While the rest of the car was screaming “With Open Arms!” I was still like “I come to You!”

I’ll write more about camp in Friday’s post. For now, please content yourselves with bookends. Boss left earlier than the rest of us, so on the way home, we stopped in Shartlesville. Shartlesville is known for its sheepskin store and miniature village, which proclaims to be the World’s Greatest (specifying indoor—it might rank low among outdoor miniature villages).

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We wouldn’t know. It was closed—miniature hours?— so we hit up DQ instead. I had a banana cream blizzard and won the remaining 1995 oinking pig keychain flashlight from a crane game knock-off.

Ashley acclimated to her new DQ white trash environs:

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This photo is a white trash 10. Precariously balanced AC unit? Check. Cigarette in hand? Check. Bad posture? Check. Glimpse of field? Check. Bearclaw stuck to white cinder block wall? Check.

Oh, and my blog is back. For real. Please subscribe (if you haven’t already) and forward to friends and coworkers.

Categories: Books · Boss · Epee Le Peu · Humor · Life · camp · miniature village · white trash

Train of Thought: A Top Ten List

May 14, 2007 · 37 Comments

I just started god is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything.

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Brian Lehrer interviewed Christopher Hitchens last week on NPR , the morning after his debate with the Reverend Al Sharpton at the NY Public Library. While I tend to think Hitchen’s voice sounds a bit too much like Alan Rickman in Harry Potter—”Potter, God did not make us, we made God!”—I am seeing his well articulated point. Watch this Anderson Cooper interview and hear Hitchens-Snape defend secularism (and John Donne):

I paid $27 for the hardback. I can’t remember the last time I paid $27 for a book. $27 is 30 minutes of bodywork at the Chinese massage place next door to the theater, or 27 $1 PBR’s at Anytime , or a weekly Metro Card.

Which brings me to the train. I am not only lugging around a cumbersome book but a controversial one. What happens if I sit beside a Hasidic Jew on the G? I’ve already gotten a few off-putting looks. Some people, believe it or not, do not want to share subway space with the girl reading “god is not Great.”

So I made a list of my train intolerables. These are the books I simply will not stand for—or rather, will stand for, as in: I’m moving seats, this is creepy, I’m uncomfortable.

#10 Life After Prison
Chances are, they’ve already read “Life During Prison.” And had a long time to do so.

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#9 Giant Millipedes: The Enthusiast’s Handbook
“Enthusiast” and “Millipede” do not belong together. Especially not with “Giant.”

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#8 Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life
I don’t want to be that stranger.

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#7 Train Wrecks: A Pictorial History of Accidents on the Main Line
Come on! We’re on a train!

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#6 Head Lice to Dead Lice
I suspect this isn’t a prevention book, but rather aimed at those who already have head lice.

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#5 Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control
What if I’m listening to my showtunes too loud?

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#4 A Night Without Armor
Poems. By. Jewel.

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#3 The Professional Stage Pickpocket
It’s never a good idea to sit too close to a pickpocket actor who is probably in a low-budget adaptation of a Charles Dickens’ novel and needs the money.

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#2 National Socialism: Vanguard of the Future
Hitler: The rise of Nazism.

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#1 Sexiest Soles: Erotic Stories About Feet and Shoes
It’s mid-May. I’m wearing sandals.

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What books have made you do a double-take on the train?

Categories: Books · Christopher Hitchens · God · Humor · Life · New York City · god is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything