American’t Apparel

Yesterday I went shopping at American Apparel. I’m a small girl but still I found that most of their clothes gave me ass shelf. Spandex is comfortable but maybe shouldn’t be a wardrobe staple. I bought a slate sheer ribbed shirred cap sleeve shirt (try saying that five times fast!) but couldn’t make up my mind about the yellow one (or canary or butter or whatever it’s called) so later that night at the theater, I went online with Garth to get a second opinion.

I was kind of horrified. Their models look really unpleasant. Like this young woman, whose fists are clenched in defiance of too little fabric. She’s thinking hard about something. She’s remembering those magic capsules from childhood– the ones you’d drop in water and watch magically expand–and hoping this shirt works the same way. Only it’s impossible to concentrate when your photographer is holding up a pantless plush Donald Duck to get you to pose.

“Yeah baby, yeah, that’s it. Show me angry.”



She was also made to wear a poor man’s version of the Hanes tee. Not a good fit, right?


At this point in the shoot, the photographer put down the Donald Duck toy and held up a picture of Kirsten Dunst.

“Ooh, yeah, give me bad posture, that’s it.”


I 100% support realistic representation of the female body. I drink too much beer and my thighs touch. Sometimes I jiggle my belly fat and make it talk in a cartoon voice. I love curves. However, I would think twice before ever leaving the house in this, unless I wanted to guarantee a seat on the train:


I can keep going.

This woman looks a little like a pissed-off Kristin Scott Thomas.

shirt1.jpg patient.jpg

I would much rather wear what Kristin Scott Thomas wore in “The English Patient.” Even after a night stuck in an African sandstorm she managed to stay less wrinkled. Even in desert heat hiking to the Cave of Swimmers we never saw Katherine sporting a see-through jersey V-neck. There is such a thing as a too breathable top. Or dress. What is this?

If I see a shirt and it looks unflattering on a model, I probably won’t buy it. I’m not going to think “Hey, she’s gorgeous and doesn’t seem to care about the cut so I should purchase it too and not a wear a bra and try not to smile.” At least the models in Gap ads dance around. I’d much rather be at their wrap party.

But…I still like my new American Apparel slate sheer ribbed shirred cap sleeve shirt. Garth photographed me in it. I stretched it out for full effect.


I just ordered it in yellow!


26 responses to “American’t Apparel

  1. Congrats on the purchase of the yellow shirt and i would never try and talk you out of a cute shirt. esspecially one in a non-drab color

  2. i love the shirt on you. you totally look nonpregnant and nonanorexic (sp). so there.

  3. Alfred aka Alfie

    I second anna’s comment, you look gorgeous.

  4. All of those models look so…. happy?

  5. I LOL’d this happened to meh when i bought their shirt… i am not fat, just fluffy! ass shelf… LOL!

  6. Hey there Rebecca,

    Lisa from the AA factory here.
    Hilarious and right on.
    You should model for us.

    American Apparel

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  8. That shirt looks great! I’ve been considering shopping AA, but haven’t made the plunge yet…maybe I should soon!

  9. Lisa–

    I’ll model for you, but only if I can wear the shiny nylon tricot legging.

  10. gorgeous!

  11. nice!

  12. AA is the poormans gap and i like it that way. except you cant wash it cause it shrinks. but the dirty smelly stretched out ness of it adds to the appeal. itz zo zexy.

  13. I am not surprised that a woman looking like a pissed-off Kristin Scott Thomas has a miserable aura. Like the majority of models, she probably hasn’t eaten anything but a few lettuce leaves all week.

  14. I bought the poor man’s version of the Hanes just last week. AA has really done well for themselves with the 70s softcore vibe…I want to see guys wearing the super low-cut V’s letting their chest hairs hang out!

  15. AA makes me want to stick my finger down my throat.

  16. I think that our apparel has changed so much over the century and I do think it is very good that this change has come but I think that we need to remember that we still can have changes coming in fashion that was not there before that was looked down upon may be in style in a couple of years.

    I am also gald that we have new ideas to what we want as our generation to wear, as I look into the future of American Apparel I see a new classy but elegant look with styles that are out of this world and I do wish and hope that this happens soon.


  17. Alfred aka Alfie

    You should model for Holland’s Next Top Model Becca I’m pretty sure you’d win first prize.

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  19. Goodness gracious me (English exclamation) you drink too much beer and your thighs touch! It’s a confident lady that posts this, I feel like I’ve stumbled across a real live episode of “Freinds”. On to the next post!
    p.s. congrats to Garth on being as good if not better that the pro photographer. (Is Garth like Joey? I love this)

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