Real People:They’re Just Like Us!

This long weekend, I led what constitutes (for me) a celebrity life: boating off the Jersey Shore, partying in a private room in Yankee Stadium, drinking sangria on a rooftop, dipping shrimp in cocktail sauce and not knowing where to put the tails…tomorrow morning will be a rude return to subsistence.

But I had a revelation—emphasis on the “revel,” since I thought of it while drinking. If middle, unknown America takes comfort in celebrity self-sufficiency and humdrum —say, like, Tom Hanks withdrawing money from an ATM, or Sarah Michelle Gellar wheeling her luggage through the airport—then might not celebrities find solace in our excesses and embarrassments? Non-industry people lose face all the time. Wouldn’t it make Lindsay Lohan feel better about herself to see a picture of another coked up troubled teen idling beside a telephone pole?

I give you my last four days as printed in the underground US Weekly.

Real People: They’re Just Like Us!

They have liquid lunch on “the yacht”:

baoting.jpg

And beckon you with bottle service eyes:

face.jpg

Look! Real People pass-out at sporting events!:

yankee.jpg

They rudely take calls on their cellphones looking like a Fraggle:

cellphone.jpg

They get photographed in the afternoon tipsily, and unsuccessfully, hailing a cab:

cab.jpg

And especially for Brittney from my friend Dan…

Real People pose nude in public with foliage tassels at a friend’s cookout in Astoria:

dan1.jpg

And prefer a more natural approach to the car seat:

britney.jpg

Advertisements

5 responses to “Real People:They’re Just Like Us!

  1. As always hilarious. had we not been wasted it would have been fun to recreate some other famous celb moments, people dead on toilets, or choking on sanwiches, but there is always next time.

  2. NICE post! LOVE the Britney potato head doll. Thanks for NOT showing us her crotch!

    I’m not an actor, but I play one in real life.

    I think that the main thing about celebs is that they can afford much more expensive clothes than us real people.

  3. That’s exactly what I would do if I were at a Yankees game… pass out! Although.. you wouldn’t catch me dead at a Yankees game after my first and only “beer drenching” experience

  4. Pingback: The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get « TryBecca

  5. This is the perfect web site for everyone who would like to find out about this topic.
    You understand so much its almost hard to argue with you
    (not that I personally would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a subject that has been written about for years.
    Excellent stuff, just great!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s