Pins and Needles

I haven’t posted an entry in over a month. Friends offered to guest blog in an attempt to get me writing again. You know how you can be tired of an outfit so you give it away to someone but when you see it on them it suddenly looks stylish again? And then you have second thoughts? I was hoping this blog was like the 2003 polka dot H&M dress I gave to Krystal and then took back.

But it turns out I have loving and lazy friends. When you’re bogged down you can’t be blogged down, so I’m taking matters into my own hands. Sure, there’s a lot happening in the world. I’ve accumulated a grab bag of scribble scraps, things I’ve wanted to write about but never got around to. Things like the upcoming Presidential primaries, or the heated debate over Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bottom half: pear-shaped or fat?

I think it’s important to maintain this blog. And there’s probably no better time to write than the holidays. While we all feel seasonal stress to shop and cook and host — to be perfect — there is also a blithe, pressureless current running through it all. We engage in “go-to-seed” behavior every December. With a fresh calender year around the corner, a clean date slate, who can’t be convinced to just sit an eat an entire box of Mallomars? Or neglect accruals? Or blow $1990 on a Geoffery Beene collar necklace?

necklace.jpg

It’s made of “hand-sewn crystal baguettes.” I guess it looks alright for sparkly French Bread. Vivre suggests that the wearer pair it with a simple tee-shirt. I might just try tying the free sleep mask I got from British Airways around my neck.

sleep-mask.jpg

The point is, we all go a little spend-thrift this month, a little crazy, so I might as well write my heart out and not be so anxious. I’ll try and forget about posting impeccably. This Christmas, I want my blog to be like the shoeless and snockered temp at the company party, a well-wishing favorite despite the occasional slur and incoherency.

One reason I’ve found less occasion to write is my new-found obsession with knitting. I long labored under the notion that “hip” and “knitting” could only appear together in a very limited context, as in: “Ethel, I finished knitting that afghan. How is your hip replacement?” But now stockinette stitch is in with the Sufjan Stevens 30-something crowd. Pretty people knit. Mobile people knit. I see them trailing brightly colored tails on the train. Yesterday, I finished this cowl scarf as a bat mitzvah gift for Dan’s sister:

cowl2.jpg

Now that the holidays are upon us, I also see women sporting the seasonal pin. I hate the seasonal pin. There is no greater accessory of desexualization. The minute Heidi Klum puts this on even Seal won’t touch her.

So here’s my reader question: if knitting is cool, will the teacher brooch be next? Would you wear any of these Santas?

santa.jpg echo_ho_ho_santa_brooch_sml1.jpg flag.jpg

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4 responses to “Pins and Needles

  1. i’ll take credit for teaching you how to knit 2 years ago and i’ll sidestep the comment about me being ethel’s friend. but baby, ethel or no, you are hip.

  2. Great to read you again, thanks for coming back. Love the redesign. The banner photo works really well, with the thousand-yard stare up over my head and to the right, gaze fixed on those wonderful insights of yours…

    Your bat mitzvah gift looks very nice, and a hand made gift is extra special. Knitting is hip, plain truth. So are crocheting, felting, and weaving. Teacher brooches, however, even as much as I love teachers, are pretty much an abomination.

  3. That ho ho ho pin reminds me of the card I sent you, H and Migs for the crimmus y’all were in Chapel Hill in that place where we kept the window propped open with an empty 40 bottle… I’d wear the dead and living hell out of that pin…

  4. I don’t think I’m ironic enough to get away with the ho ho ho pin, but, if I were taller or lived in Williamsburg, I think I might try.

    And yes, welcome back, you’ve been much missed in cyberland.

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