Hijacking the Interwebs!

Erro Interweblings,

This is Snunshine. Me:

I’m a philosopher-king with a pretty fucked-up beak. Also, sometimes I sit on eggs. I’m a penguin; it’s what I do. I came on this trip with Girl and Dan to see the world, and I’ve noticed a couple of things that would be different if penguins were in charge.

One, this giant egg would be way less pointy:

I tried to sit on it and couldn’t waddle right for hours. That, humans, is what we penguins call “bullshit.”

Second, penguins would have a way better mass-transit system. How am I supposed to carry all my bags with these little fucking flippers? Plus my ticket? I mean, seriously guys. Good thing I brought Dan along to carry them, and Girl to offer him encouragement and emotional support.

Once, Dan was worried that Girl was going to carry stuff, thereby robbing him of his only utility, but Girl soon put his mind at ease. Good girl, Girl.

You got some things right, though, personthings. Like, this public eatery. Just look at me and my friend having a good time!

That’s my friend, by the way. His name is Carlos and, like me, he does freelance music delivery. I like to mail myself between Iowa City and New York, media mail, with burned CD’s. Carlos is old-world about it; he sends himself with LP’s. He also calls it “posting.” I told him posting sounded fun, like sitting on eggs, but what he was doing was mailing shit. I’M posting, right now!


3 responses to “Hijacking the Interwebs!

  1. dear philospher king,
    no joke, i too am a penguin. i took my owner, john mcgrew, around Europe in 1996 and made him take pictures of me throughout the entire trip, in various places. i’ll have to send home to ohio for the pics. once you see them, i am sure you will find it hilarious how Dan, Girl, and McGrew are completely ridiculous.
    -pinguin (thats german for penguin. 16 year-old McGrew lacked all kinds of imagination with that one)

  2. Pingback: Late-Beaking Coverage of the Iowa Flood « TryBecca

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