Erro again, Interweblings. It’s me, Snunshine, coming to you plush from Iowa City. It’s pretty rough here, as you can see:
The waters are blue. Bright bright awful butt-staining blue.
Why am I in Iowa City, you ask? Why aren’t I somewhere with lots of eggs, so I can sit on them? Well, Girl sent me here to take care of Dan while he was teaching at some bullshit camp thing that didn’t happen because of a little water. He should have taught at this camp:
But then Dan promised me a whole carton of eggs if I’d help with the flood. So, I built this myself:
That used to be how persons walked to the English-Philosophy Building, where they learned about me (remember? I’m a Philosopher-King. With a sweet disaster of a beak.)
So after that we decided to check out the other side of the river, which turned out to be pretty well fucked. In a totally legal move, we went over the bridge
and down the road
to capture some shocking photos:
Do you see that? No, not my sweet plumage, which is particularly magnificent in the reflected light of destruction, but thanks for noticing. No, the big story: not a single fucking egg! Calling bullshit on this whole flood thing, I started heading home.
Dan was all like, “um, Snun, you’re going the wrong way,” but I follow my beak. My awesomely crooked monstrosity of a beak.
After this Dan was like, “ugh, the lower half of my body is soaked,” which is funny because I was perfectly dry. Dan doesn’t know how to go through underpasses.
So, being a big Mary, Dan gave up on following the bike path here:
I don’t know what “reading signs” is, but doing it seemed to make Dan a coward. So we went back the way we’d come, stopping at the local food Co-Op for my carton of eggs. But what did we find? The Co-Op was wrapped in plastic and hiding behind a pile of sandbags. Calling double-bullshit, I sat down with my pet human, Marty, and started planning a break-in.
Marty can help. He’s a ninja.
Anything else you’d like to see me cover? Just email me here at my, er, I mean Girl’s, blog.
(Also, Sex and The City is bullshit.)